we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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