we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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