I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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