dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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