u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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