thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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