Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
