There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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