fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
