i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I fill condoms, not promises.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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