I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
