Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
