Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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