Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
