I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
