I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Naked Twister starts at high noon
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize