real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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