I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
