He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
there is glitter all over my balls
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize