I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
