I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize