the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize