If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
