Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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