what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
