I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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