i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
