i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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