found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
high people should be assigned attendants
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
