Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
