I bet he comes in French.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
