He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
