4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
