You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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