Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
