Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
