I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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