im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
