Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
