Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
