theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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