it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
