The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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