Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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