What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
