wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
