Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
