erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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