Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i now understand why vodka
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
