His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
