i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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