I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize