Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
