That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
