I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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