is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
