im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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