Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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