She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize